VU Club

Tuesday, 1 April 2014

(•۝• ѴƲ cℓʋв •۝•) Indian wedding: photographer Tanishq with funny comments on husband @ Wife

Indian

wedding

What's the similarity between chewing gum begum(wife) ??
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Both are sweet at the beginning
and
become tasteless, shapeless and chipku in the eNd...

An Airline Introduced
A Special Package For Business Men.
Buy Ur Ticket Get Ur Wife's Ticket Free

After Great Success,
The Company Sent Letters To All The Wives
Asking How Was The Trip.
All Of Them Gave A Same Reply...

"Which Trip ?"

Wife: I wish I was a newspaper
so I would be in ur hands all

day.

Husband: I too wish that u were
a newspapers so I could have
a new one everyday.

Wife comes home late at night
and quietly opens the door to her bedroom.

From under the blanket
she sees four legs instead of two!

She reaches for a baseball bat
and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can.

Once she's done,
she goes to the kitchen to have a drink.

As she enters,
she sees her husband there, reading a magazine. :s

"hi darling", he says,
"your parents have come to visit us,
so I let them stay in our bedroom.
Hope you have said hello to them.

If you were my husband,
I would poison your coffee

If you were my wife
I would drink it.

When a married man says:
"I'll think about it" ,
What he really means that,
He doesn't know his wife's opinion yet...

Asian man will have a wife and a girlfriend
and will love his wife more.

A black man will have 2 wives and 5 girlfriends
and will love his 1st wife more.

A white man will have 1 wife and 3 girlfriends
and will love his girlfriends more.

An pakistani man will have 1 wife and 4 girlfriends
and he still loves his mummy more.

In newyork, a man was watching a movie at home

and suddenly shouts nooooooooooooo!! :'(
Don't go inside the church its a trap!!

Wife: what are u watching?

Man: our wedding DVD :p

Want to surprise your girlfriend?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Introduce her to your wife :p

A famous inspirational speaker said:
"Best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman, who wasn't my wife"
Audience was in shock and silence..
He added: "she was my mother"
A big round of applause laughter!

A very daring husband tried to crack this at home
After a dinner, he said loudly to his wife in the kitchen:
"Best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman, who wasn't my wife"
standing for a moment, trying to recall the second line of that speaker

by the time he gained his senses,
he was on a hospital bed,
recovering from burns of boiling water!

Moral: don't copy if u can't paste!

Husband sent a text to his wife at night,
"Hi I will get late, please try and wash all my dirty clothes
and make sure you prepare my favorite dish before I return."

He sent another text,
"And I forgot to tell you that I got an increase in my salary
at the end of the month I'm getting you a new car"

She

text back, "OMG really?"

Husband replied,
"No I just wanted to make sure you got my first message".

Two Wise Advises for Married Peoples

Never laugh at your wife's choices...
(You are on of them...)

Nev

never proud of ur choices

(Your Wife is one of them...)

Message of the year:-
Women live a better, longer peaceful life..!!
Why? Very simple...
A woman does not have a wife..!!!

My wife and I
were happy for 20 years.
Than we met.

Husband texts to wife on cell..

"Hi,what r u doing Darling?"

Wife: I'm dying..!

Husband jumps with joy but types "Sweet Heart, how can I live without U?"

Wife: "U idiot! I'm dying my hair.."

Husband: "Bloody English Language!

Chess says everything
about husband and wife.
The King has to take things one step at a time,
while the Queen can do whatever she wants.

Police Officer: I arrest people, But, when I go home, I'm under house arrest, by Wife

Professor: I give lectures to students, But, when I go home, I get Lectured hourly, by wife

CEO: I'm the Boss, But, when I go home, I always feel like an employee, by wife

Judge: I give Justice, but when I go home, I Beg for Justice, by wife

Husband wife watching an IPL match together:
After 5 minutes:

Wife: Is this Bret Lee?
Husband: No, this is Chris Gayle, Bret Lee is a bowler.

Wife: Okay, oh look, another wicket.
Husband: No, this is just a replay of the last one.

Wife: Hmm, looks like India is going to win this one.
Husband: It's Bangalore vs Mumbai.

Wife: How many runs they need to win now?
Husband: 72 runs in 36 balls.

Wife: Eh! That's easy, just 2 runs in 1 ball.
Husband: *Turns off the TV*

Wife: Turns it on again and starts watching "Daily serial"

Husband: Who is girl here ?
Wife: Don't disturb me please .

Husband : I found Aladin's lamp today. :P
.
Wife : wow, what did u ask for darling ?? :D
.
.
Husband : I asked him to increase your brain ten times..
.
Wife : oh..darling..luv u so much.. :-*
.
Did he do that ??
.
Husband : He laughed and said multiplication doesn't apply on zero.

True saying....
Women never dress up to impress man,

She dress up to irritate other women.

Chess says everything
about husband and wife.
The King has to take things one step at a time,
while the Queen can do whatever she wants.

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(•۝• ѴƲ cℓʋв •۝•) What doest the World Eat for Breakfast..................

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Murli dhar Gupta <mdguptabpl@gmail.com>
Date: 24 March 2014 02:36
Subject: {Younique} ***** What doest the World Eat for Breakfast..................
To: younique_group@yahoogroups.com

: What does the World Eat for Breakfast.....

courtsey : my friend Rolf Cordes

Pakistani Nashta ki ek variety.

__,_._,___

(•۝• ѴƲ cℓʋв •۝•) The Ten Most Beautiful Gardens of the World

1. Versailles, France

The famous French landscape designer André Le Nôtre laid out these gardens southwest of Paris in the 17th century at the behest of Louis XIV. The Sun King wanted them to magnify the glory of his palace at Versailles, which was itself a monument to his absolute rule. The 250 acres (101 hectares) are riddled with paths that lead to flower beds, quiet corners decorated with classical statuary, ornamental lakes, and a canal that King Louis used for gondola rides.

2. Singapore Botanic Garden, Singapore

Considered one of the world's prettiest botanical gardens, the Singapore Botanic Garden was established in 1859. Its 128 acres (52 hectares) are divided into three "cores." Bukit Timah Core is geared for educational and recreational use. In Tanglin Core, visitors can find a bandstand and many statues sprinkled among favorite native plants and trees. The most popular core for tourists is Centre. The National Orchid Garden is in this section, atop the park's highest point, where more than 60,000 colorful orchids bloom.

3.Descanso Gardens, La Canada Flintridge, California

A mere 20-minute drive outside of Los Angeles you'll find a bucolic paradise with more than 100,000 plants and one of the world's largest collections of camellias. The gardens and woods of Descanso ("rest" or "repose" in Spanish) unfold over 160 acres (65 hectares) of the San Rafael Hills. Don't miss the Japanese garden and the International Rosarium that is home to thousands of roses. Children particularly enjoy riding the Descanso Gardens Enchanted Railroad, a mini-diesel train.

4. Butchart Gardens, Vancouver Island, British Columbia

The Butchart Gardens are a dazzling example of a successful reclamation project. The land, used for years by Portland Cement, by 1904 had exhausted its value as a quarry. That's when Jennie Butcher, the wife of Portland Cement's owner, filled the space with soil from nearby farms. Her vision expanded into a 55-acre (22-hectare) tract filled with 700 varieties of plants that bloom from March to October.

5. Villa d'Este, Tivoli, Italy

A Renaissance cardinal decided to make life in Tivoli bearable by turning a dilapidated Benedictine monastery into a lovely villa, the Villa d'Este. This was embellished by one of the most fascinating garden and fountain complexes in the world, recently listed by UNESCO as one of Italy's 31 major historical/artistic sites. Among the most bewitching of the mossy fountains are the Fontana del Bicchierone (water pours out from a large shell-shaped basin); the Rometta fountain, which is a miniature Rom complete with a wolf-suckling Romulus and Remus; and the Avenue of the Hundred Fountains, where animal heads, lilies, a small boat, basins, and so on all spurt water.

6. Dumbarton Oaks, Washington, D.C.

You might feel as though you've stepped into a Merchant-Ivory set in any of the gardens that make up this estate at the north end of Georgetown, one of Washington's poshest neighborhoods. Vines tumble down stone walls enclosing the Fountain Terrace. Lovers' Lane meanders past a Roman-style amphitheater built around a small deep-blue pool. And what used to be a simple cow path leading away from the pool is now called Melisande's Allée, perhaps as a nod to the haunting opera Pelleas et Melisande.

7. Gardens of the Villa Éphrussi de Rothschild, St.-Jean-Cap-Ferrat, France

In the early 1900s, Béatrice Éphrussi, a Rothschild baroness, built a pink-confection, Venice-style villa surrounded by breathtaking gardens, with the sparkling sea beyond. Pathways meander through the seven themed gardens, the focal point being the French gardens, with a lily-pad-dotted pool, dancing fountains, and a Temple of Love replicating the Trianon at Versailles. There are also a Provençal garden, filled with olive trees and lavender; a lapidary garden, with sculptures too large to be displayed in the villa; and Spanish, Japanese, Florentine, and exotic gardens.

8. Stourhead, Warminster, England

To the English gentry of the 18th century, the more classical something could be, the better. Stourhead is a grand example of genteel fascination with the past. Henry Hoare II punctuated the gardens of his Wilshire estate with re-created ruins and classical buildings such as the Pantheon and Temple of Apollo.

9. The Master-of-Nets Garden, Suzhou, China

This residential garden in southeast China, called Wangshiyuan in Chinese, was designed during the Song dynasty (A.D. 960-1270). The arrangement of pavilions, halls, music rooms, winsome bamboo groves, and waterside perches is an exercise in natural harmony. The central section is a small world within itself; piles of yellow stones form "mountains" complete with caverns, and a tiny arched bridge called the "leading to quietude" crosses a pond to a small pavilion in the center.

10. Sans Souci, Potsdam, Germany

Frederick the Great of Prussia built the splendid rococo palace as his summer place, where he could live without a care, sans souci. Busts of Roman emperors, decorative statues, and a Chinese teahouse dot the lavish grounds.