What's the similarity between chewing gum begum(wife) ??
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Both are sweet at the beginning
and
become tasteless, shapeless and chipku in the eNd...
An Airline Introduced
A Special Package For Business Men.
Buy Ur Ticket Get Ur Wife's Ticket Free
After Great Success,
The Company Sent Letters To All The Wives
Asking How Was The Trip.
All Of Them Gave A Same Reply...
"Which Trip ?"
Wife: I wish I was a newspaper
so I would be in ur hands all
Husband: I too wish that u were
a newspapers so I could have
a new one everyday.
Wife comes home late at night
and quietly opens the door to her bedroom.
From under the blanket
she sees four legs instead of two!
She reaches for a baseball bat
and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can.
Once she's done,
she goes to the kitchen to have a drink.
As she enters,
she sees her husband there, reading a magazine. :s
"hi darling", he says,
"your parents have come to visit us,
so I let them stay in our bedroom.
Hope you have said hello to them.
If you were my husband,
I would poison your coffee
If you were my wife
I would drink it.
"I'll think about it" ,
What he really means that,
He doesn't know his wife's opinion yet...
Asian man will have a wife and a girlfriend
and will love his wife more.
A black man will have 2 wives and 5 girlfriends
and will love his 1st wife more.
A white man will have 1 wife and 3 girlfriends
and will love his girlfriends more.
An pakistani man will have 1 wife and 4 girlfriends
and he still loves his mummy more.
In newyork, a man was watching a movie at home
and suddenly shouts nooooooooooooo!! :'(
Don't go inside the church its a trap!!
Wife: what are u watching?
Man: our wedding DVD :p
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A famous inspirational speaker said:
"Best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman, who wasn't my wife"
Audience was in shock and silence..
He added: "she was my mother"
A big round of applause laughter!
A very daring husband tried to crack this at home
After a dinner, he said loudly to his wife in the kitchen:
"Best years of my life were spent in the arms of a woman, who wasn't my wife"
standing for a moment, trying to recall the second line of that speaker
by the time he gained his senses,
he was on a hospital bed,
recovering from burns of boiling water!
Husband sent a text to his wife at night,
"Hi I will get late, please try and wash all my dirty clothes
and make sure you prepare my favorite dish before I return."
He sent another text,
"And I forgot to tell you that I got an increase in my salary
at the end of the month I'm getting you a new car"
She
Husband replied,
"No I just wanted to make sure you got my first message".
Two Wise Advises for Married Peoples
Never laugh at your wife's choices...
(You are on of them...)
Nev
(Your Wife is one of them...)
Women live a better, longer peaceful life..!!
Why? Very simple...
A woman does not have a wife..!!!
were happy for 20 years.
Than we met.
Husband texts to wife on cell..
"Hi,what r u doing Darling?"
Wife: I'm dying..!
Husband jumps with joy but types "Sweet Heart, how can I live without U?"
Wife: "U idiot! I'm dying my hair.."
Husband: "Bloody English Language!
about husband and wife.
The King has to take things one step at a time,
while the Queen can do whatever she wants.
Police Officer: I arrest people, But, when I go home, I'm under house arrest, by Wife
Professor: I give lectures to students, But, when I go home, I get Lectured hourly, by wife
CEO: I'm the Boss, But, when I go home, I always feel like an employee, by wife
Judge: I give Justice, but when I go home, I Beg for Justice, by wife
Husband wife watching an IPL match together:
After 5 minutes:
Wife: Is this Bret Lee?
Husband: No, this is Chris Gayle, Bret Lee is a bowler.
Wife: Okay, oh look, another wicket.
Husband: No, this is just a replay of the last one.
Wife: Hmm, looks like India is going to win this one.
Husband: It's Bangalore vs Mumbai.
Wife: How many runs they need to win now?
Husband: 72 runs in 36 balls.
Wife: Eh! That's easy, just 2 runs in 1 ball.
Husband: *Turns off the TV*
Wife: Turns it on again and starts watching "Daily serial"
Husband: Who is girl here ?
Wife: Don't disturb me please .
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Wife : wow, what did u ask for darling ?? :D
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Husband : I asked him to increase your brain ten times..
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Wife : oh..darling..luv u so much.. :-*
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Did he do that ??
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Husband : He laughed and said multiplication doesn't apply on zero.
True saying....
Women never dress up to impress man,
She dress up to irritate other women.
about husband and wife.
The King has to take things one step at a time,
while the Queen can do whatever she wants.
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